I looked at Facebook and saw all of my old friends enjoying their lives how I dreamed I would be at 18 I know I should be happy for them but I just started crying for no reason at all. My boyfriend caught me even though I tried to be alone so he wouldn’t worry and I didn’t know what to do so I…
No. No no no. You are so totally allowed to be sad. Lemme tell you a little story: I was supposed to graduate from college in May with honors and take a job in Americorps working in South Dakota doing work with youth on reservations but in January my health disappeared. I dropped out of school and still don’t have a degree let alone a job.
This is what chronic illness does. YOU ARE ALLOWED TO BE UPSET ABOUT IT. it’s part of the grief process. You have to grieve what you’ve lost because we’ve all lost a hell of a lot and anyone who tells you otherwise doesn’t know shit. You don’t hate your friends for their lives. You hate your illness for taking that life from YOU. You are not being selfish at all. Not in the slightest.
So cry and scream and rage and rant as much as you need. It’s okay. You have to let yourself grieve.